job dissatisfaction

i am dissatisfied at my job. i am frustrated when i go to work. i am sad when my two days off are over and i resign myself to starting the ugliness over all over again. i have a “case of the mondays” everyday.

my job is not a career. it’s exactly what it sounds like, a job. i go to work, i punch in and 8 hours later i punch out. i go home tired, watch some netflix, eat a dinner, go to bed, and repeat it all the next day. i’ve been doing this job for over 3 years. and i hope that i am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

i didn’t always have this level of dissatisfaction. when i started at my job, it made me very happy to go to work everyday. i began at the bottom of the ladder, and i was so excited to go to work everyday and learn something new. before starting at my job i had been unemployed for close to 10 months, and the idea of having some place to go, a job to do, things to learn, was very exciting to me. it helped clear up a lot of depression that i felt in my life.

the job started out as part time. i worked usually 4-5 days a week about 20-25 hours a week. not a lot of money coming in, but i didn’t have a lot of expenses. in addition to learning new skills that were fun, i think the part-time aspect really appealed to me. i loved coming in, working a 5-6 horu shift and then leaving to go to the movies, to yoga, to hang out with my friends.

for a good year and a half i really loved my job, there was something consistently new to learn and improve upon. eventually the party does have to come to an end. around the 2 year mark, i began to feel the first pangs of job dissatisfaction. countless management changes throughout the next year brought my unhappiness level from tiny pangs to full blown crisis level which is where i sit at this current moment.

i am depressed about my job. it causes me stress, anxiety, and panic. i get terrible stomachaches, my hands shake if i feel overwhelmed.

i have decided; i am leaving my job. within the next one to two weeks i plan on giving my notice. and i am scared. i have no job lined up (although i am searching), only a minimal amount of savings (that i was hoping to keep saving), and expenses that i have to consider. i would need to purchase my own health insurance (my job actually provides me with great health insurance). i would have to make all my normal purchases without the safety net of knowing that a paycheck will come and cover the purchases. i would have to really commit myself to finding a new job.

has anyone else been depressed about their job? what did you do? have you ever left a job without having another job lined up?

 

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