things i don’t like about myself

i admit it, there are things i don’t like about myself. physical things, personality traits. and i think it’s ok to say that there are things i don’t like about myself and wish i could change. some changes are possible some changes are not possible, it’s a mixed bag.

there is so much out there in media that is promoting body positive lifestyles, and i think that’s great. but i think it’s disingenuous to act like we should see ourselves as beautiful and perfect exactly the way we are. i think it ignores and encourages people to push down some negative feelings we have about ourselves, our bodies. i feel like over time this can’t be good for us.

i wish i was taller. not by much, say about two inches or so. this thought only occurred to me recently. i read a lot of style blogs and i like to take notice of fashions and styles when i’m out in my daily life. i like seeing how people put outfits together, how they accessorize. what i’ve noticed recently is that i love the way clothes look on women who are on the taller side of the spectrum. i feel like i occupy this weird, completely average height. i’m not short, i’m not tall, i’m just right there in the middle. i know that many tall people have issues with clothing and sizing; but that is their issue. i would like to be a little taller.

i wish my hair was longer and not as frizzy. i wish my curls were sleek. even though i have come around on my hair and can now appreciate my wild curls, there are things i wish i could change about them. i mean, who ever says they are completely satisfied with their hair. i don’t believe that anyone has good hair days everyday. i am working on growing out my hair, and i definitely have noticed that it has gotten longer since the beginning of the year! i have also begun working on finding the right products and tricks to use on my hair to make it more manageable and look sleeker, more defined curls, less frizzy. i am having some success, still working on it.

i wish i was a more organized person and less of a procrastinator. this is something that is completely in my control to change, i’m trying to figure out if i want to change. let me rephrase that…these are things i do want to change, i just have to decide how i want to change. being unorganized causes anxiety and being a procrastinator causes sleepless nights. obviously i don’t want to keep living that way. i hate anxiety and i want more sleep. but do i want to just go to the container store and buy a bunch of organizing components for all my stuff? no, not really. i would rather be more organized by having less stuff to keep track of. see, some things can, with a little adjustment can definitely change.

there’s things i don’t like about myself and that’s ok. i don’t have to like them; i won’t embrace the things i don’t like. i won’t be talked into embracing my flaws. i will learn to accept them, work around them, or change them if i can.

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