i have finally decided that i want to return to writing down my thoughts.
here’s what’s happened since the last time i wrote in this space.
august 2016: brandon and i got engaged in solvang
september 2017: we got married in our dream wedding at la canada flintridge country club
april 2018: we moved to austin, texas when brandon took a job at a company he’s been wanting to work for for a long time
and…boom…that’s where we are. i drove to austin with my mom about 2 weeks after brandon came and started his job. i am still looking for a job. i’ve had 2 interviews for positions at ut, one didn’t work out, and the other i’m waiting to hear about. i’ve also applied for jobs with a number of non-profits in austin. i’m hoping that in the next few weeks i can secure a job and help contribute towards our financial future. while i do enjoy sleeping in and being able to decide what to do with my day, not working isn’t as fun when you’re being budget conscious.
one of the first things we did when we moved to austin was to buy a house. moving to austin was a two-fold decision. 1. brandon has wanted to work for his company for a while, so this is a great career opportunity for him with lots of opportunity for advancement. 2. we wanted to buy a house. we knew that staying where we were living we would never be able to afford the type of house we would want. we would’ve been purchasing either something very small, requiring lots of work or something quite far away from our jobs/community.
we found and purchased a lovely house in austin. we close this coming wednesday and we will probably move in about two weeks later once our stuff is shipped from storage back home. while i am undeniably excited about owning our first home, especially because we are buying a home that in my wildest dreams i never thought we’d be able to afford, i am still stuck in a funk about our move in general.
and basically it boils down to…this isn’t home for me. my family isn’t here, i don’t have a community network here, i don’t have my favorite haunts and walking spots here. and i know those things come with time. i know that everything doesn’t just fall together in one week, six weeks, or even six months. but, it’s still hard to maintain that optimism that comes with moving somewhere completely new when at least once a day i think, “man, i wish i was back at home.”
it doesn’t help that to move here i had to leave my job which i dearly loved. i have tried to fill the flower void by starting to volunteer at the lady bird johnson wildflower center once a week. it definitely helps, because it is a gorgeous botanical gardens and the focus is very different from the huntington. i am learning so much about native texas wildflowers. it also helps to get me interacting with folks on a regular basis out in the community.
i feel that as we continue to set up our home and move in, once i find a job, things will slowly start to fall into place. i will find new usuals. again, it’s a process, it takes time, and it’s important for me to realize that it’s totally ok to miss home, miss the people back there, and even miss silly things like specific coffee shops, specific streets, and even specific freeways.